Monday, January 2, 2012

No Kiss Blogfest!

(if you would like to know more about this blogfest, please go here.
Basically, the idea is that we write an almost- kiss scene, and post it. 
So I thought I would try it out!
Let me know what you guys think! It would mean a lot to me! :)
It's from my current WIP 

The storm whips the broken swing’s chains as I try to open a window into the living room. I knew it would be locked, but Carson has grown tired of the relentless beating of the rain that’s bordering becoming hail. I definitely don’t want that.
“You really have no idea where your mom is?” His voice carries in the wind, encompassing all of my senses, and sending a shiver down my spine. I’ve been hoping to avoid the question, so I shrug instead as I keep trying to push up on the window that has shown no sign of giving in. I would break the window if I thought for a single moment we would have money to fix it anywhere in the near future.
“Maybe you should come back to my house, Hailey. I can bring you back home later. I don’t think it’s a good idea to be out in this weather.” His hair dances the tango with the swirls of the storm, circling and twisting in ways that seem impossible. I want to run my hands through it, but I resist as I shake my head,and look away from him.
“I’m not going to your house. You can go. I’ll wait here. I’m sure she’ll be home any minute.”  It’s a lie, but I can’t stomach the idea of walking into his beautiful home that holds nothing but the best of memories for me, and be met with odd glances as his parents try to place my face. If they can at all. Not to mention, I would then have to leave, and my heart could shrivel into a bloodied pulsing rock smaller than a dime. I can not do that to myself. I close my eyes to miss his piercing stare.
“How about dinner then? Compromise?” My stomach betrays me as it rumbles at the mere mention of food. Luckily he can’t hear it, even as he steps closer to further push his point.
He has never been one to back down from what he wants.
I wish I had that kind of motivation. That drive.
 “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I whisper, unable to sound more confident.
“And why not?” His grin is subtle, the way it used to be when we were kids and he stayed over. We were too young to know that it would one day be banned due to hormones. He always woke up with that smile, I could never tell if he’d had an exceptional dream that lingered in the morning light, or if he was waiting for my mom to enter the room to announce the strawberry waffles were ready. A secret he only knew, a secret he never shared. Not even to me. He leans in closer, and I can feel his breath on my lips, and I feel myself, shamefully yet inevitably, lean into him as his hands circle my waist.  I’ve spent so long imagining this that it feels too unreal, too impossible to fathom as reality. We encompass a bubble that has always been impenetrable to every one else. He’d slipped in so seamlessly, and suddenly the bubble is ours, and I can’t help but think, maybe, just maybe he won’t leave me alone again.
“Let me help you, Hails.” He whispers just as his lips brushed against mine. It only lasted a fraction of a moment, a tease of what would come, when my mom’s headlights sliced between us, effectively breaking the moment. Just as seamlessly as he’d entered, he slips away as he turns to my mom. She is now walking onto the porch, staring blankly at the two of us as if we are intruders.
As if she doesn’t even know who I am.
“Mrs. Perish. Hi.” He looks at his shoes.
“Carson.” She breathes his name in awe as she finally recognizes him. It’s the first time I’ve seen her smile in days. “Are you joining us for dinner?”  She’s asking him, but she’s looking at me as if I’m someone she hadn’t expected.
Someone she’s hoped I would be.
Something to bet on.
She wasn’t betting on me.


  1. LOVE IT just as much as last night. <3

  2. That was a great excerpt. I'd love to read the book that it came from.

  3. Another wonderful scene from my favorite up-and-coming writer. Can't wait until I can start putting your books on my shelves, signed and personalized of course. :]

  4. I love the idea of him slipping into the bubble and it becoming THEIR bubble of safety and warmth and everything good. So bittersweet.

  5. That was brilliant. I loved the similes and the language was gorgeous. Also, Carson is adorable.
    I would love to read more of this. :)

  6. Very cute and sweet! Thanks for participating!

  7. Hmm. I think I <3 Carson. Great #nokiss post!

  8. Very nicely executed. Just the right amount of tension to keep the reader on track. Use adverbs sparingly (she says, with too many in this post alone ... LOL). Employ stronger verb choices. (Mean Jenn.) Otherwise, looking forward to more! I like the voice you've got going on here. <3

  9. I absolutely adore the bubble metaphor, how he slips easily in and then out again. Great scene.

  10. I think what made me most curious about this piece was, in the first paragraph, your main character being aware that Carson was getting tired of the rain... and not wanting that.

    ...'cause I just can't figure out why...

    if it was just 'cause she wanted his company, then she wouldn't have suggested he go home.

    Definitely made me ask questions...


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XO, Al @ Magnet4Books <3


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